Daddy Dan

The fashion ranks, ruled largely in part by cunning homosexuals, have historically fetishized the garments of the more widely popular heterosexual male.  Seen here in a classic white crewneck underneath a classic plaid shirt, underneath a classic leather jacket, Dan is a fashion Daddy archetype.  His take charge haircut paired with his jaw defining facial hair should be enough to send the daughters and sons of absentee fathers into a sort of oddly sexual throe.  Dan Conner is the man many girls and boys will spend their lives searching for.  We just want a hug.


Lazy in Leopard

Down in the dumps, Roseanne is self medicating with a convenience store’s worth of potato chips, cheese balls, doughnuts, and tabloid magazines.  With a baby for a hostage, this little love-in is a far cry from the hippy hopefests that this depressed dame grew up with.  There’s nothing like silk leopard pyjamas when you’re feeling down and downing litres of soda.  The sheets may be filled with crumbs, but it sure beats leaving the house!


Joyful Jackie

At last, Jackie has found a man who can really turn her crank!  Prince Charming here has swept Ms. Harris off of her sneaker clad feet and dressed her to the nines for a night on the town in New York!  Complete with indigo fur and jewels, Jackie is looking every bit the Princess on her horse-drawn carriage ride through the city.  What a far cry from the hay rides of her youth!


Referee Jackie

Life is becoming more and more complicated for these ladies now that they’ve cashed in their novelty sized cheque!  Jackie has taken it upon herself to play referee, and at this very moment she’s advising Roseanne to take a giant step back and really think about whether or not they need three yachts.  This striped sweater is a most arresting choice, sure to get attention on and off the field.  With Jackie reigning as ref, those millions might last till the end of the month!


Roseanne’s Denim Dress

What with having to take care of Dan after his being incapacitated, Roseanne is opting for a loose fitting denim dress so as to ease her movement about the house.  In this stylish but easy fit, Roseanne is free to tramp about the house, starting with the pantry, where she’s throwing out all of Dan’s favorite fatty foods.  The charming neckline on this sheath offers the housebound husband a subtle, sexy amount of decolletage to gently stir him from his healing slumbers.