April 2011
25 posts
S9E24
This is It
Few shows will take you on a journey like that of Roseanne. For all of its flaws, this is a series of transformation, family, and love. Roseanne Conner is who we all want to be. She is brash, outspoken, headstrong, loud, and rude, but most of all she is loving and loved. While it may take many forms, there is never any doubt that her motivating force is a nervous bundle of pure...
5 tags
S9E23
Dear David
Everyone was always rooting for you, the underdog kid with an abusive mother and a sinister older brother. You fought for the girl you wanted, and let her trample you with her whims. You were kind to everyone, and perhaps a bit of a pushover. You were the modern man that many girls wished they could have had. Ready to cry, not afraid to be emotional, you were an inspiration to...
4 tags
S9E22
Mommie Dearest?
Dan’s mother Audrey is in town for a visit and is ready to do some mothering! With a keen eye for sharp objects and a penchant for pounding, the mother of our favorite family man is sharing just what techniques brought him into this world with such an awe-inspring amount of respect for empowered women. A word to the wise: no one will think you’re crazy if your...
4 tags
S9E21
Tabloid Tragedy
This tricksy little minx is trying to get Beverly to dish the dirt on her daughter Roseanne. With decades of experience, this tabloid tramp has learned that the best way to coax the truth out of your subjects is to dress fancy and smile wide! People love to spill secrets to elegant strangers, so this outfit is perfect for the occasion! A safari print dress is great for both...
4 tags
S9E20
Heather’s Teenage Heat
DJ’s girlfriend Heather is making an attempt to go from idle film nerd chat to hot and heavy lip on lip action. She’s giving DJ all the sex face she can muster, but seems to be far from hitting that “seductive” mark. You can’t blame her outfit though! This purple striped sweater calls attention to all of her pert pubescent...
4 tags
S9E19
Beverly has always had what her generation would call an “artistic side”. These days we just call it straight up lesbianism, and Bev is dressing for the part in an oversized smock with matching beret. She’s at the hospital to witness the premature birth of her great grandchild, so naturally she’s spouting off about how tough things were in her day. Becky isn’t...
4 tags
S9E18
Daddy Dan
The fashion ranks, ruled largely in part by cunning homosexuals, have historically fetishized the garments of the more widely popular heterosexual male. Seen here in a classic white crewneck underneath a classic plaid shirt, underneath a classic leather jacket, Dan is a fashion Daddy archetype. His take charge haircut paired with his jaw defining facial hair should be enough to...
S9E17
Jackie’s Last Stand
Consider this the final and ultimate Jackie sweater. Oversized, bright red, and emblazoned with a navajo print, let this cement Jackie Harris in the halls of trendsetters. Many will follow in her wake, but none will surpass her.
4 tags
S9E16
Classy Jackie
High society is a social realm filled with expectations, refinement, tradition, and composure. Luckily Jackie is a natural with all of these things and looks every bit the studied gentlewoman in her fancy hat and skirt suit! Don’t for an instant imagine that this spouting of champagne is anything less than ladylike, it is merely a customary greeting spray!
4 tags
S9E15
Lazy in Leopard
Down in the dumps, Roseanne is self medicating with a convenience store’s worth of potato chips, cheese balls, doughnuts, and tabloid magazines. With a baby for a hostage, this little love-in is a far cry from the hippy hopefests that this depressed dame grew up with. There’s nothing like silk leopard pyjamas when you’re feeling down and downing litres of...
5 tags
S9E14
Peanuts DJ
Mr. Schulz must have had this sweater in mind when he sketched out a certain Mr. Brown’s zig zag delight. While DJ’s contributions to the style scene have been somewhat scarce, they are amazing when they occur. This fuzzy two tone number is placing the youngest Conner at the front of the fashion pack!
4 tags
S9E13
Bathrobe Babe
Back to rule the roost, Dan is large and in charge in his baby blue bathrobe! The consummate king of his castle, hunkering down at the dinner table to read over the classifieds and enjoy his coffee, Dan is taking no prisoners as he asserts himself as the man of the house. Nothing says “I could care less” than strutting about in a terrycloth delight!
4 tags
S9E12
Leather Mommy
Baby puke wipes right off of this leopard trimmed leather jacket, but what drew Roseanne to this particular item was the rebellious persona she can adopt while she wears it! This biker chick will gladly drop her baby and punch you in the face if you dare mess with her baby or her ride. No wonder the little Conner boy is wearing a puffy jacket, consider it padding for the...
4 tags
S9E11
Seduction Junction
Not ready to be upstaged by her new furniture, Roseanne is upping the ante with this feather trimmed robe and silk negligee. Hoping to rekindle her romance with an estranged Dan, this frothy little outfit is sure to send a sensual message. Let’s hope the gentleman of the house can hold his horses till they make it to the bedroom-it would be a shame to ruin that new...
4 tags
S9E10
Lounging Ladies
With nothing but time on their hands, Roseanne and Jackie are lapping up the leisurewear! Jackie’s velour lounge suit is luxurious and versatile. This look can take her from the couch to the limo to Rodbell’s department store all while keeping her comfortable and stylish! With millions in the bank, Jackie’s only concern should be showing up the ladies at...
4 tags
S9E09
Roseambo!
Camo, camel, paisley and frills! In increasingly bizarre turns of events, Roseanne ultimately finds herself fighting terrorists on a hostage filled high-speed train en route to Washington, D.C. Those dastardly terrorists better beware, nothing says “ready for action” like a camouflage bra!
4 tags
S9E08
Tie-Dye Treat
Packing for a lovely weekend at Martha’s Vineyard always means reaching into the back of the closet for that perfectly faded tie-dyed tee! As the scent of patchouli wafts from the threadbare psychedelia, Roseanne is taken back to that Grateful Dead concert where she lost her virginity on the grass, covered only by Dan’s tattered leather vest, ganja falling out of...
4 tags
S9E07
British Invasion
It’s a fashion bash and two special guests have been flown in from across the pond! Mademoiselles Monsoon and Stone are in America to hobnob with the social elite, but the scene quickly devolves into a water closet party as they teach the Yanks how to have a good time. Looking every bit the lady, Roseanne has a hard time avoiding the paparazzi and is forced to work...
5 tags
S9E06
Health Club Realness
You can’t be rich and fat, so Roseanne and Jackie are spending some time at an adult fat camp hoping to shed those pesky last 50 pounds. Roseanne is going for the gusto with this heather grey leotard, pastel green leggings, and shoulder bag combination! She’s working up a sweat just by picking her wedgie.
5 tags
S9E05
Joyful Jackie
At last, Jackie has found a man who can really turn her crank! Prince Charming here has swept Ms. Harris off of her sneaker clad feet and dressed her to the nines for a night on the town in New York! Complete with indigo fur and jewels, Jackie is looking every bit the Princess on her horse-drawn carriage ride through the city. What a far cry from the hay rides of her youth!
4 tags
S9E04
Referee Jackie
Life is becoming more and more complicated for these ladies now that they’ve cashed in their novelty sized cheque! Jackie has taken it upon herself to play referee, and at this very moment she’s advising Roseanne to take a giant step back and really think about whether or not they need three yachts. This striped sweater is a most arresting choice, sure to get...
6 tags
S9E03
Beautiful Bunnies
These sisters are quick learners. Just a few days after hitting the jackpot, they know they have to seal the deal and land a spread in Hugh Hefner’s high class publication! Wealth without fame is like beauty without mirrors, so Roseanne and Jackie are making sure all of their assets are out there for the public to view. Their Playboy spread, replete with dollar...
6 tags
S9E02
Winning Numbers
If money can’t buy you taste, how do explain the stylish new duds on these lucky lotto winners? Ready for their first broadcast news appearance, you’d think Dan and Roseanne were simply thrilled over being questioned about something other than the whereabouts of their problematic progeny. Nothing could be further from the truth, however, because with 108 million...
6 tags
S9E01
That Girl Roseanne
Spiritual journeys take on many manifestations, so it’s no surprise that when Roseanne does some heavy thinking her only frames of reference turn out to be television personalities from bygone eras! This swell sixties sitcom getup is most becoming on a elegantly shaped lady like our Mrs. Conner. May all of her day dreams be this immaculately dressed!
6 tags
S8E25
Roseanne’s Denim Dress
What with having to take care of Dan after his being incapacitated, Roseanne is opting for a loose fitting denim dress so as to ease her movement about the house. In this stylish but easy fit, Roseanne is free to tramp about the house, starting with the pantry, where she’s throwing out all of Dan’s favorite fatty foods. The charming neckline on this...
March 2011
2 posts
S8E24
Hospital Gowns
Dan is unwell, but at least his family is looking smart! There’s nothing like showing up at the waiting room in full wedding regalia. Darlene’s big day came to a dramatic close when Danny boy collapsed in the woods, but as you can see she’s keeping her cool. Even though Roseanne is a nervous wreck, she remains a vision in her teal two-piece and baby’s...
7 tags
S8E23
Bride of Healy
Darlene is getting married in some sort of wooded wedding wonderland and looks every bit the tortured, moody bride! Wearing an heirloom lace-sleeved wedding dress, yellowing faux pearl necklace, and a flower trimmed veil, the future Mrs. David Healy is ready for her shuffle down the aisle!
February 2011
1 post
5 tags
S8E22
Dancing Jackie
Movement is a very important part of fashion, and as Jackie demonstrates here, she knows just how to glide across a room. In a daringly short silk-esque dress complete with mandarin collar and cap sleeves, Jackie cuts a striking figure as she cuts a rug.
January 2011
3 posts
5 tags
S8E21
High Society Jackie
You can slap a fancy jacket on a girl, but you can’t get rid of her spunk! Here Jackie is wearing what seems to be a business-casual ensemble replete with gold costume jewelry and fancy black trim. Always the ham, this spirited lady won’t let such a stuffy look change her attitude. With her arms akimbo and her expressions morphing every millisecond, Jackie...
4 tags
S8E20
Sad Silk Shirt
Down in the dumps? Under the weather? Feeling blue? The solution is simple, just throw on your best silk blouse, your most comfortable pair of jeans, plop down on the couch, and start flicking through the boob tube. In no time flat you’ll be feeling relaxed, refreshed, and once again ready to yell at various members of your bustling brood. Choose a colour that...
4 tags
S8E19
Stars & Stripes
A cable knit version of the Star Spangled banner is the perfect combination of warmth and patriotism! Here we see Roseanne giving David some tough love, and what better way to instill fear in a prisoner than wrapping your wool/acrylic-blend-clad arm around his neck? These broad stripes and bright stars are an ideal accompaniment to Roseanne’s brash brand of Middle...
October 2010
4 posts
4 tags
S8E18
David in Grunge
There are only a handful of instances in David’s life in which he can be considered a success. Unbeknownst to him, this is one of those moments. He didn’t realize that whatever he woke up and blindly threw on would become a part of fashion history. All he wanted to do was find a dark corner of Disneyworld where he could sketch sad clowns, but instead he created...
4 tags
S8E17
Bloomin’ Bev!
Air travel calls for nothing but the most glamorous outfit possible! Here we see Beverly is sporting a rather fetching outfit comprised of a floral print blouson jacket, beige jersey mockneck tee, jade green crochet beret, and matching green easy fit slacks. The look is understated, sophisticated, and will leave fellow passengers wondering exactly why this glamazon is...
4 tags
S8E16
Internet Addict Jackie
What Jackie has learned here is that nothing is more stylish than an addiction! As is her typical fashion, however, this unfortunate Lanfordian has chosen to go the less desirable dependency route. After having a connection installed in her home, the Connor family learns that their favorite foible-prone aunt has become addicted to the internet. In a gruelling...
4 tags
S8E15
Poker Gays
You guys know how it is: it’s time for your monthly poker game and you just haven’t got a clue what to wear! While you browse your walk in closet, looking for the perfect outfit, you’re overwhelmed with choices. Now try coordinating with your live-in lover! These two are holding a fashion royal flush with their casual Hawaiian-ish shirt and understated button...
September 2010
1 post
4 tags
S8E14
Leather Daddy Mark
Being surrounded by a harem of bossy broads really takes a toll on a guy’s masculinity. Perhaps in an effort to bolster his waning sense of manliness, Mark has decided to grow a butch goatee and start sporting more cowhide. This way, at the very least, he looks manly when he gets pushed around by the women in his life.
June 2010
1 post
4 tags
S8E13
Sad Denim Dan
Double denim, a white Stanfield (3 pack) crewneck tee, Hanes sport socks, tassel loafers and a plaid couch set the scene for some true family bonding. Darlene is back from the big city to stir up some trouble, and Dan is having a hard time dealing. To illustrate this point he has hunkered down on the couch to watch daytime television. Lured into his devious denim trap,...
May 2010
1 post
5 tags
S8E12
Jackie’s “Working Girl” Getup
Easy fit shirt? Check! Comfortable “all day” shoes? Check! Tonal “stain hiding” color scheme? Check! Standard foodservice apron? Check! Now Jackie is ready for a day of sample slinging at the Lanford Buy ‘N Bag! The white socks really crank up the style volume on this sweet ditty. What screams “buy...
March 2010
12 posts
4 tags
S8E11
Roseanne’s Gay Wedding Glitz and Glam!
A small sequin factory somewhere in China had to go into three days of overtime to produce all of the spangles on Roseanne’s new gay wedding dress! Leon is tying the knot with his man friend, and Roseanne is making sure the two lovebirds don’t hog all of the attention! Everyone knows that gays love some shine, so Roseanne will be...
5 tags
S8E10
Infant Induction!
If you want your child to be a future fashion icon, you’ve got to start dressing them right at an early age! Here we see Jackie’s young son being inducted into the Lanford fashion elite! This baby boy has the look down pat, and is giving Dan a run for his money in the “who wore the buffalo plaid best” race! Flash forward 17 years and this little...
4 tags
S8E09
Double Denim Dan
Dashing Dan in double denim! This tall drink of indigo is really driving the crowd wild with his heartfelt crooning. God’s gift to the women of Lanford is really owning the stage, and has his clothes to thank for that! What commands the stage more than a tonal denim outfit? Pretty much nothing! As Dan relives his lost youth by singing rock standards to a drunk and...
4 tags
S8E08
PILGRIM PARTY!
In an attempt to make both learning and Thanksgiving fun, Roseanne has donned the traditional pilgrim garb for a holiday treat sweeter than pumpkin pie! This historical throwback gives us a glimpse of what Roseanne would look like as a subservient “good wife” and while it may not be an improvement, it certainly is enlightening! A few questions are left unanswered,...
5 tags
S8E07
Jackie’s Wayfarers
It’s hard to look good when you’re lugging around a 20 pound baby, so Jackie really has to work it these days. These Ray-Ban Wayfarers are the perfect way to cover up those eye bags from all the sleepless, diaper changing, breast feeding, “Oh my god is the baby breathing?!” nights. When she slaps on those shades, Jackie transforms from a...
4 tags
S8E06
Roseanne and Dan in Gentler Times
With an idyllic life such as hers, it’s hard to imagine Roseanne fantasizing about living differently. Every so often, though, she succumbs to the delusion that she is a 1950’s housewife with a hidden drinking problem. Here in glorious black and white we can see the best outfits that era had to offer. An elegant apron was the most important...
4 tags
S8E05
Becky’s Butterfly Sweatshirt
This pretty stranger is sporting a wonderful butterfly t-shirt as she takes her sons out trick or treating. She sure looks familiar!
4 tags
S8E04
Dan’s Plaid Blazer
When worlds collide great things happen. Dressed up for a night on the town, Dan hasn’t let his true self be overpowered by a stuffy black blazer. Instead, he’s gone with the plaid! There is something to be said for never denying your blue collar background! This blazer says “Yeah, I’m dressed up, but I could still go out back and shotgun...
4 tags
S8E03
David’s Mohair Cardigan
It appears David is growing some sort of facial hair to match the fuzziness of his patterned mohair cardigan. The style lesson here is that two fuzzy things make a killer combo. While his new teen stache and goatee aren’t necessarily ”developed” enough to be considered either sexy or attractive, when paired with this amazing cardigan...
4 tags
S8E02
Darlene’s 70’s “Lovechild” Tee
What an unexpectedly optimistic tee for Darlene to be sporting! It seems the junior queen of mean has a fashion soft spot for retro 70’s “lovechild” printed tees. This tender sunset silhouette is not a scene that one would automatically associate with Darlene, but she’s full of surprises! What this tells us...
4 tags
S8E01
New Daddy Dan
Is that the Brawny man working at the Lanford Municipal Garage? Nope, it’s just good old dan, with a hot new beard! After the birth of his baby boy Jerry Garcia Conner, Dan is looking mighty fine! Dan is determined to make his new son the man that DJ will never be, and this starts by growing some wicked facial growth to up the testosterone levels in the house! That or...
4 tags
S7E25
David’s Stripes
J.K. Rowling must have been watching this episode of Roseane when she was writing about the Gryffindor scarves! The scarlet and gold stripes in David’s tee are played off nicely by his camel deep v neck sweater, and those easy fit jeans are something else! David is an artist, remember, so he chooses pieces based on their comfort and ease of movement-he needs to...